I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

I want to share this post. It says more about raw grief, and about sustained love through good times and bad than anything I have ever read. The writer has asked to remain anonymous. But if you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know very well who wrote it.

See if you can read it without it making you cry. And when you’ve read it, you might want to read some of her other posts. Maybe not all at one sitting though, they’re scarcely escapist reading matter. Oh … and ignore the swearing. The writer has plenty to swear about.

Fanny the Champion of the World

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We went to a party on Saturday night. It’s not the first time we’ve been out, the boys and I (or indeed I on my own,) since D-Day, and although I mainly want to stay at home curled up in a ball, I know it’s A Good Thing to go out and I need to make the effort. We need to socialise, and I’m determined that my hubby doesn’t just slip into obscurity, and become some legendary bloke who we all vaguely remember. No. He has a name, and we use it often. Still, I’m pretty selective about who I feel up to partying with, as the fixed social smile often gets wiped away by tears. For the most part, the small talk I used to be so good at makes me feel a bit nauseous, and I don’t want people to ask how I am because they won’t like the…

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15 thoughts on “I Wanna Hold Your Hand.”

  1. I’ve just been reading through these posts and I’m at a rare loss for words. I’d like to say I’m sorry, but it’s fairly meaningless as I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me from Adam. I’d like to say I recognise that grief and rage but with one notable exception the people I’ve lost didn’t die before their time. I’d like to say she writes beautifully, but that seems appallingly facile in the circumstances. I won’t say it’s gets easier with time because it does … and then again, it doesn’t and anyway it’s insulting. I will say you all have my heartfelt sympathy, for what it’s worth. I’m glad you have such a close-knit and supportive family. Lx

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  2. Extraordinary. And awful. Her writing takes me right there with her, it’s so raw and real. It sounds facile to say that I hope she’s finding some release in writing it, but I hope she is nonetheless. It deserves a wider audience.

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  3. “Fanny’s” blog really is extraordinary–she is being so honest and angry, and maybe it helps, in some small measure, for her to put it down in writing. I felt a little like a voyeur, reading it and other posts she’s written, but I guess the fact that she’s writing a blog instead of a private journal means it’s okay to know her thoughts without knowing her . . . . ?

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    1. I think she might be a bit ambivalent herself. Personally, I’m glad she’s done it. It really tells it like it is, and I hope that in the end, it will help her too. She’s kept herself pretty anonymous!

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  4. Wow, haven´t been here for a while, but that´s some strength and courage to write it down that beautiful!
    Thanks for pointing me towards that.
    Greetings, Ron

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  5. So moving and so brave. I understand the point about cliche. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told that my Dad, 93, was a “good age” (not the point) but I will never forget the words of a friend; when I apologised for writing something incredibly trite to him when his mother died, he said it’s always better than the people who cross the road to spare their own feelings because they are embarrassed. How lucky she and the boys are to have such a supportive network of family and friends. Life will never be the same but she won’t be alone.

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