Indian Friday: Couchsurfing

Today, for one week only, I am abandoning my diary in favour of a piece I wrote just after I had left Thanjavur. I do sound a bit smug, I know. But I stand by every word I wrote then. My time in Thanjavur still stands as one of the highlights of my Indian journey. I’ve nearly used up any appropriate Thanjavur photos though. So there is just one shot today of a building I forgot to label at the time, a sad ruin of what it must have been, But red enough for #SimplyRed.

Couchsurfing

The following is an unsolicited testimonial for CouchSurfing. No money has changed hands in the production of this advert!

In case you don’t CouchSurfing is an online community in which travellers offer hospitality, and make use of hospitality offered while on the road. It’s based on the premise that this makes travelling more affordable, but more importantly, gives travellers the opportunity to experience the community they’re visiting at first hand, rather than in the somewhat detached way hotels and so forth can offer

That was a bit of a long lead in ….

In Thanjavur I stayed with Gwen, an American doing post-graduate research at the University there. We’d exchanged emails over a month or two, so she didn’t feel like a stranger when I met her. She gave me a wonderful welcome and time with her, so I wanted to treat her on our last evening together. She asked to eat at the best hotel in town, as she’s heard the food was good, and as a student of modest means, it was she thought, beyond her reach. Good idea.

A we passed through reception, we might as well have shown our passports. Thanjavur disappeared from sight to be replaced by marble walls and floors, corporate decoration, and uniformed staff of the kind that usually frequent these places. Where were we? Birmingham? Milan? Dubai? Mumbai? Who knows? And so into the restaurant, where we pulled our dupattas tight round our shoulders to combat the cold of the air conditioning. Consulted the menu (Indian, Chinese and European) and ordered our meal. Got talking to the English couple next to us as they finished their chicken and chips. They turned out to be on an organised tour, and it looked as though their time was spoken for. They were enjoying it, but were scurrying along at the pace set by the demands of the tour, with no opportunity to go off on any tangents, and certainly no opportunity to meet local people on their own territory. 

Compare my time in Thanjavur with theirs. Gwen’s American, certainly, but she’s made it her business to be part of the community she lives in. She’s learnt fluent Tamil, so has good relationships with her neighbours. So while there, I had the chance to mooch round and enjoy with her the rangoli decorations and lights put out at night for a Hindu Festival of Light (not Diwali, yet another one). I met the neighbours and was invited into their homes. Narrowly avoided a big faux pas in one. Invited to sit down, I nearly plonked myself in the nearest vacant place on a sofa. Recovered myself in time and did not sit there, next to the husband, but squeezed onto the other sofa, with the women. Gwen said it would have seemed very odd to them if I hadn’t remembered in time. Chatted to another neighbour, a Christian, who explained that she liked to keep the Hindu festivals too, and showed us her Hindu decorations taking their place alongside her pictures of the Pope.

I ran errands for Gwen, and in that way had several language-less conversations in the food market, where everyone was keen to shake my hand, because tourists in Thanjavur don’t generally go and buy half a kilo of carrots.

We zipped round on her scooter and bought takeaways. We caught local buses together and visited temples. We had meals in local cafés. I wandered round her neighbourhood when she wasn’t there, and saw a small community going about its day-to-day business.

I was woken in the morning to local sounds (actually I was invariably awake anyway, I don’t do sleep in India); the Muslim Call to Prayer transmitted by loud microphone at, erm, 5.30 a.m. The church bells ringing a few minutes after that (20 % Muslim and Christian communities here). The street hawkers who kick in at about 6.45. The day-today noise which seems to begin so early in Indian communities.

And of course it was interesting to talk to Gwen, who knew exactly what I would be finding difficult, and could guess what assumptions I might be making. Gave me a quick Tamil lesson, and more importantly a gesture one (‘Yes’ and ‘No’ aren’t the same here, I learned rather late in the day). She’s much the same age as Tom and Ellie, but that didn’t seem to matter – it didn’t to me, anyway.

And I saved money, though that wasn’t my motivation. I tried to make sure I didn’t cost Gwen anything. So what did our new English acquaintances gain from their corporate type hotel? A thicker mattress maybe. Constant hot water possibly (doesn’t really happen in India). I’m willing to bet I had loads more fun. Oh, and by the way, the meal wasn’t that good, and cost exactly 9 times as much as the meal we’d had at lunch time in a local cafe.

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Author: margaret21

I'm retired and live in North Yorkshire, where I walk , write, volunteer and travel as often as I can.

43 thoughts on “Indian Friday: Couchsurfing”

  1. Yes, I can see very well that this would work for you. But I’m often shy and awkward in my own skin, and I’ve shied away from the idea of Couchsurfing in the past. Having established some sort of relationship with Gwen, then yes, but I’m still not sure that I could have done it. My huge loss, of course. I think some of the tours are a little more flexible these days and try to give a more authentic experience, but there’s no matching yours. xx

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  2. So much better to do it your way if you can. I remember looking forward to the posh meal we’d promised ourselves in Kathmandu after weeks of dal bhat on our trek. Unsurprisingly, we were both disappointed.

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  3. This is a great insight into Couchsurfing. I’m not surprised it was the highlight of your India trip. I LOVED couchsurfing and used it often when traveling round Australia on my own. I would recommend it to anyone wanting to get to know an area better and make friends

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    1. Agreed. I didn’t manage it much in India, It didn’t really seem to be a ‘thing’. And as you may find later if you stick with my Indian Fridays, my next attempt was far less successful. But it doesn’t diminish the extra dimension it can bring to travel.

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  6. What a handsome building sadly neglected….. it seems you had a great introduction to Couchsurfing…. if it works it seems a brilliant idea. gets you immersed into local culture and traditional food. as I’ve said before, I’m really enjoying my virtual visits to parts of India, a continent. I shall never Visit now.

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  7. I’ve never tried couch surfing but I find meeting up with Virtual Tourist friends in various places around the world has brought some of the same benefits – eating in their favourite restaurants, exploring some less obvious areas of a city with them, etc. And I try to do the same for them when they come to London – I’ve had friends from Australia and Switzerland (and even Yorkshire!) stay with me, and I’ve taken many others on walks in different areas, arranged pub meet-ups with other locals and more!

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  8. I haven’t couch surfed, but I did stay with a fellow blogger in Australia who I had only met through the blog. She gave me an actual bed though. And very kindly showed me around her area. Sadly Meg gave up blogging, but Jo and Sue have met up with her in Poland I think.

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  11. I’ve not managed couchsurfing ever and not sure I ever will – not good at sharing my space. However I do love doing my own thing, getting list and chatting to locals. So can totally relate to that. And your red is perfect

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    1. That’s an interesting one, Peter. Specifically Yorkshire is especially hard. Many who live in India are vegetarian, others need to avoid beef or pork, and often require specific slaughtering guidelines if they do eat meat. Maybe fish and chips? Sweet foods are easier. Parkin; curd tarts; rhubarb. Maybe settle for Yorkshire pudding with Wensleydale cheese on the side🙄 ? Aaagh. I hope it won’t happen any time soon!

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  16. Sounds a really wonderful experience. Possibly those who want to couchsurf have similar outlooks on travelling and getting to really know places. Glad this worked well for you and you saw so much more. Gosh being fluent in Tamil is quite an achievement. And oh dear, that almost other couch experience nearly next to a man. Am sure you would have been forgiven! I went on the back of a motorbike as the friend did not have a car. I was told this was only for wives!

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