As you travel Britain’s main roads, every few miles or so you’ll pass a convenient lay-by with a caravan, a shack, a portakabin – some less-than-permanent structure which has actually been there as long as anyone can remember. Parked outside it are lorries, vans, cars – all empty, because their drivers are in the Greasy Spoon – that’s what these huts and caravans are affectionately called.

These truckers and travellers have gone in for an all-day breakfast. The menu’s limited. All that’s on offer are various combinations of bacon, sausage, eggs – with baked beans, grilled tomatoes, grilled mushrooms or bread on the side. This is not Fine Dining. The bread served here is not artisan-crafted from some small bakery using speciality organic stone-ground flour from the mill down the road. It’s industrial strength pre-sliced pap. I doubt if the pigs used for the sausages and bacon have truffled around in the woods looking for acorns, or been fed wholesome scraps from the farm. The baked beans come in catering-size cans.

But we’ve got into the habit, when the boys stay with us, of having lunch at a particular greasy spoon near Skipton. What it lacks in finesse it makes up for by offering a really friendly welcome and rock-bottom prices. We make our order, plonk ourselves down at one of the formica tables, and relish a rib-sticking calorie-fest which will keep our stomachs lined for an afternoon of fresh air and fun at nearby Brimham Rocks. It comes under the heading of ‘Naughty but Nice.’*

*Salman Rushdie coined this advertising slogan for Fresh Cream Cakes when he was working as a copywriter back in the 1970s. Warning: Don’t Google this phrase unless you are on the look-out for sex toys or ‘adult-themed materials’. You have been warned.
Great blog. I do love a FEB!! X
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Do you Penny? I really can’t imagine you getting outside a mega-bacon sandwich. We all missed you at yoga by the way.
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You are braver than me, I worry about the hygiene and fat used in these places. This is clearly an exception! Thanks for telling us about it.
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Oh honestly, it’s far cleaner than my kitchen! It’s a simple set up and fairly easy to keep spotless, I think. I can’t be doing with dirty caffs.
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I think going out for breakfast (even at lunchtime!) is a treat wherever you go as just by simply not being at home it’s different.
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Yes indeed. I love cooking but it’s still a treat not to have to.
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We came across a few of these in NZ. The one that comes to mind was a woman as old as Methuselah cooking mussels. It was called Nin’s Bin and on the east coast beside the sea. I’ll never forget it, the mussels were superb.
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That sounds wonderful, but mussels are way too exciting for a British greasy spoon. It’s bacon, bacon all the way.
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The bacon sandwich does look good! The views from the café must be marvelous.
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Great views. Great sandwich.
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The sandwich actually looks quite tasty, and it sounds like so much fun to visit this restaurant with your grandsons.
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Yes, and for me, quite odd, as the bulk of the customers are – ha! – quite bulky truckers.
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We call this sort of restaurant a greasy spoon, too! Here, they are more likely to be somewhat more permanent and also be called “diners” but they offer similar evil-but-yummy options. And, no, I won’t be googling “naughty but nice”!
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We also have diners, but they tend to be more modern, bright and chromey, and to have American-inspired menus. However you look at it, it’s all calories!
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I do remember ‘bacon butties’ from my Cardiff days – great rainy day food! This looks like the kind of place I’d enjoy too.
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I’m sure you would. I didn’t know you’d been to Cardiff – as a resident or tourist?
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I was born in Wales and my family emigrated to South Africa and then Canada. I went to Cardiff University for a year and lived with my grandparents in a then mining town (Abertridwr). I know eggs, beans, chips and bangers in all its various forms😜
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Well … you are exceptionally well travelled. And the travelling goes on….
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